Pirate Latitudes

Is that a parrot on your shoulder or are you just glad to see ... Pirate Latitudes, a supposed novel supposedly found in Michael Crichton's files, complete and entire, after his death?

Slow-moving nautical action, a slow-motion rock-climbing heist with a basically super-powered team of what are over and over again described as not pirates, some of the most boring witchcraft scenes ever written, and probably the worst sex scenes we've ever read: whoever was responsible for these pages should probably be forced to walk the plank. But since we're all about the booty here at IDEOTVPod, we hoisted the sails, made fast our lines, tucked our shiny-ass cutlasses into our finest sashes and set sail for fresh latitudes. Sassy latitudes. Pirate latitudes.

Recommendations:

• Six Months, Three Days, and Five Others by Charlie Jane Anders
• The Seven and One-Half Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton

Music:

• "I was born on a pirate ship (holdyourtongue)" by Dillinger 4
• "Golden Years" by David Bowie
• "Frigging in the Rigging" by the Sex Pistols